Britney+Married again+Step kids?=Media whore. ‘Nuff said. (Amen. PS- Britney, you are done. Please please just go away for a few years and come back all enlightened and stuff. PLEASE!)
First let me start off by asking does anyone really care about Britney Spears and whom she marries or how many step kids she has? No I didn’t think so and with that question out of the way, it’s time for the Annual year in review by, moi, Jade. (And commented on by me, Amethyst!)

First off I want to talk about one of my new favorite terms of 2004..."Wardrobe malfunction". I know that Janet’s career was a bit on the Eh side but was flashing a boob for everyone to see during the Super bowl halftime show really the way to fix it? ( America, yeah.) Especially since kids have been known to watch the Super bowl with their parents. Wouldn’t it have made more sense and money, sweetie, to have just taken it off for Playboy or the Internet? Next time, Ms. Jackson, if you wanna be nasty, do it when there aren’t any kids watching. (Well, technically, you should blame Mr. Timberlake as well. He is soooo off my hottie list.)

The much to much of it angry. I will cover the Presidential Election in Part 2 of my Year in Review. Mainly because the first draft of this look back is being written by hand in pencil on a yellow legal pad. And if I were to write everything I thought about the election right now I think my hand would fall off from overuse. (I look forward to it. I'm ready to vent.)

As much as I love Sony (SHAMELESS PLUG #1) I’m a little bitter at them right now. Why you ask, dear readers? Well, Auntie Jade will tell you right quick. (Right quick? Man, you HAVE been without the internet for too long.) Instead of releasing the Sony PSP (SHAMELESS PLUG #2) in the US (Which Game Informer Magazine (SHAMELESS PLUG #3) keeps teasing me with photos of) it releases a slimmer and lighter version of the PS2. Don’t get me wrong; the new revamped PS2 looks totally amazing but I don’t like to be teased Sony, so please oh please, give me my PSP! (I hear the PSP will suck up batteries really fast. Please fix that. And I am still waiting for my TV Sony. I'll accept a free PSP and a massive battery pack.)

Martha Martha Martha. It’s always about Martha. Many people are arrested for insider trading every year but do we hear about their trial everyday for ages? No we don’t. So just because Martha is the so called “Domestic Diva” we have to hear about it over and over and over again? I mean she had what she got coming to her for being greedy. You think that with the prices K-Mart(SHAMELESS PLUG#4) charges for her merchandise and then what she makes from her books and the TV shows that her company produces (Pet Keeping with Mark Marone is a really good show. It’s from him that I learned cats can be lactose intolerant which was something I never knew about before), she’d have more then enough money to keep her and her little dogs in flowers and kibble. (Not to mention her own jail made out of pine cones and ribbons.) I’m glad the whole trial thing is over and she’s finally out of the spotlight. I’m just hoping that the next time I go to K-Mart and am forced to buy something with her name on it, it’s a little bit cheaper.( Now they are part of Sears. It will be more, muwahahahahahaha!)

I would like to take this opportunity to say congratulations to the Scott Peterson jury on having the intestinal fortitude to convict. (Intestinal fortitude is my new favorite phrase.) I would also like to give Amber Frey a big old Cauldron salute for having the guts to do what she did and not act like the stereo typical “other woman”. (*both exchange glances and knowing grins*) (Seriously, Amber, you are a brave and wonderful person for helping the police like that. And Scott, I wish they would do to you what you did to your poor wife and child and throw you in the bay. To Laci's family we extend our sympathies and hope that the verdict will give you some sense of peace. We hope that Laci and Connor are at peace now as well. Stupid smug jerk. He reminds me of a rat. This whole issue sends both Jade and I into a rage because it is so disgusting. Again, Amber, we give you major snaps. You put your own life on the line to bring justice to a woman you never even knew existed and then prayed for her and her family in the aftermath and that is so wonderful. We hope that life brings you much happiness in the future.)

Movie-wise it hasn’t been totally awful year. “Catwoman” starring Haley Berry was an interesting twist on the Catwomen legacy. Don’t even get me started on “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban”... I love the Harry Potter (Keep your comments to yourself dear) (*glares and sulks* *starts mumbling* Stupid Harry Potter....OUCH! Stop throwing Sacrificial Brain Candy at me!) books and wasn’t that horribly that disappointed in the first 2 movies but the third installment in the series was just...well...icky. It deviated way too much from the book for my taste. (I have never been a fan of Harry Potter, nor will I ever be. I'm not gonna lie.) “The Terminal” staring Tom Hanks was a wonderfully sweet and touching movie but I wouldn’t recommend a guy see it with his girl because some of the things that Tom Hanks does for Catherine Zeta- Jones in it are just so...well romantic that any girl who sees it will turn to her guy and ask "Why don’t you do things like that for me??" (I wouldn't know. I didn't see it.) “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story” was hilarious! Tons of adult innuendos like a sign at the tournament that boldly states “Go Balls Deep!”. It was one of those stupid great movies of the year. (Again, I didn't see it. Did I watch anything other than TechTV and Nick at Nite this year?) So many good movies came out this year that it would take up almost all of this segment of the year in review to cover them all and I’ve gotten to see a good portion of them thanks to a girl named Amber (Not Amber Frey, but how freaking cool would that be?)who works at out local Blockbuster Video (SHAMELESS PLUG #5) who sold me on this great thing called the movie pass. You pay so much a month and you can take out anywhere from 2- 3 movies at a time and can keep them out as long as you want (SHAMELESS PLUG #6 btw). It really is a great deal and totally worth the money every month. You just have to check in the movies you’ve taken out before you can rent anymore but you could be in the store 6 times in one-day exchanging movies and it doesn’t cost you anything extra then the flat fee that you pay every month. I’ll talk about more great movies in my next installment of this article.

I would just like the record to state that yes I still don’t like LOTR but I still have my Legolas fixation. (I still DO like LOTR. So whatever fanboys I turned off by stating I hate Harry Potter just re-fell in love with me cuz of LOTR, right? Do I have any fanboys? Does anyone read this page anymore? Sorry, lol!) Notice I say Legolas not Orlando Bloom. Don’t get me wrong Orlando is cute but there’s just something about him with those elf ears and that long, sexy blond hair...Yum. (I personally think he looks hot no matter how his hair is now. I like hobbits and elves and pirates and....whatever Will Turner was.)

Don’t bite the Whedon that feeds ya, dude. (That is a new Amethyst trademark by the way. Jade heard that and HAD to use it, lol.) When the series Angel ended about the only thing that kept me from freaking out too badly was the fact that there was going to be a series of two hour Angel(Jade originally wrote "Angle" here and that was funny. To me at least. Hee.) movies every few months starting in September of 2004 but thanks to David “Poopyhead” Boreanaz, that hope soon died. Mr. “Poopyhead” had said that he was doing to do the Angel movies for the WB network but soon decided that the only way he would do the movies was if they were a big screen release. Now if I was his agent I think I would smack him silly. You don’t get your loyal fans all hyped up and then pull the rug out from under them like that. (Seriously, people raised money to save that freaking show. Give us our movies, you Stanley-Cup babbling goof ball! Or poof, even. You maginificent babbling poof!) And just where has your career gone since Angel ended, sir? I mean, it’s not like I hear your name on TV or anything anymore. Maybe instead of being so full of yourself thinking that the big screen is the only way to go you should show a little loyalty to those who helped make you a household name. (Amen to that. Get on the ball, Boreanaz. I had the love jones for you for awhile, but you and Sarah Michelle Gellar are seriously starting to get me steamed with your lack of consideration towards your fans, but at least SMG has done something in the past year. Poor James Marsters needs employment dude. Make the movies! Did you NOT notice the huge open-ended ending you filmed? You know, the David Boreanaz puppet would NOT approve of your behavior.)

And that my dears is the end of installment one. I have a couple of other things that I want to get done for the page before handing in part two of this, but I’m hoping that I’ll have it all done by the end of the month.

Cauldron main