First things first, Jade's stuff is in normal font, Amethyst's comments are the italics, as usual. Ok then, here we go with 2003, The Year in Review.

* Wanders into our corner of the web and looks around the empty space*

Hello? Anyone here? *Hearing a faint echo from her own words Jade looks around with a faint frown on her face. Not even a place to sit for her there was…Hmmm. Jade frowns even more because for some odd reason she had just channeled Yoda…Oh well, maybe her fellow page owner and best friend Amethyst could html her up a chair. *click click click thump* There ya go. All of a sudden one of those high-heeled shoe chairs appears out of nowhere. Jade raises an eyebrow but it was better then nothing. She sits and looks out into cyberspace and starts her ranting.* *Amethyst does not feel like sitting in cyberspace, so she sits back on the couch and lets Jade ramble away :) *
Not enough Legolas. That's all I really have to say about Return of The King by the way…simply not enough of the hottie blonde elf that became the ONLY reason I even remotely had an interest in the LOTR franchise. It was an ok movie I guess(an OK movie??? It was the coolest movie ever. You hear that Oscar folks? Awesome!) and I won't go into to much detail about it in case you are one of the few people who haven't seen it, i.e. those living in a hobbit hole (mmmm....hobbits......I love me some hobbits)themselves or my future sister in law who for the sake of my sanity will not be named.(Good call. Jade wants me to be her sister-in-law. Would anyone like to buy "the man's" sister? Make us an offer.) Well, there was one other good point to the movie in my humble opinion. Golem/ Smeagel. He kind of grows on you after awhile without you even realizing it. (I must have missed that part of the movie. I had to go to the bathroom at one point so that must have been it.)Until you find yourself going around the house saying "My precioussss" or "Nasssty Hobbitsssss" to your cat when nobody else is around. Not that I ever did that…No sir…. Never did anything like that. *Looks around and see's her cat grinning at her* And don't believe anything she says! She's a fat hobbitsss…err…cat I mean…yeah cat.(Daisy was a nice hobbitssses herself actually. "The man" is a hobbitsses as well.)
What else can I say about the year 2003 that won't sound like something you've already heard a billion times in another year end review………How about ENOUGH with the Madonna and Britney kiss. It was old 5 seconds after it happened so why the hell are we still acting all shocked by it? (Word.)It's not like it happened back in the homophobic days of yore…. Remember those days' guys? When ABC almost didn't run an episode of the hit series Roseanne because it involved a scene in which special guest star, Mariel Hemmingway, playing a gay woman kissed Roseanne. So again I repeat enough with it. Madonna lives to shock people. Remember the Like a Prayer video and why Pepsi fired her as it's spokesperson? It showed Madonna making love with a black Jesus. Way too taboo for Pepsi. (I would like to interject that Taboo is a fun game for the NES.)Or how about a video entitled Justify My Love and how it became the first video ever banned by TV. I'll never forget the look on my mom's face when I had to ask her what bondage and S&M meant. Not exactly the questions any mother wants her little girl to ask, are they? (I look forward to the day that my son comes home from a visit with his father and asks me what a masochist is.)And Britney is getting just as bad as the Material Girl in the matter of shock. How about her latest stunt? Do we really even care that she got married one night in Sin City and bailed on it the next morning? (I bet Justin cares.)Seems like Brit wants to play at being a grown up but can't handle the responsibility that comes with it. And nobody really believes that it was a "growth spurt" that gave you your…umm…."assets" deary. The public isn't that stupid, give us a little credit please. (Maybe her "assets" were real when she was still a virgin...*snicker*)Remember when Brit used to dress...well….non slut like? I barely do. (Anyone remember her on The Mickey Mouse Club? When she was *in best high-pitched flipper voice* Britney! Along with pre-slut Christina Aguilera and pre-hottie Justin Timberlake. And I think JC too. Pre-nasty-Felicity-haircut Kerri Russell was there as well. *Sighs* I used to watch that freakin show! That and Kids Incorporated.)And moving onto my next rant……
2003 was also the year that saw the end of Buffy The Vampire slayer. A great show that my best friend and I could use all of the space allotted to us here and still have barely scratched the surface of the buffy verse. (If I had 100 AOL profiles, I couldn't use my list of fave Buffy quotes.)For the most part the final episode of Buffy raised more questions then it answered. Like where was Oz? You think that he would have been there for the final Buffy. Or what was Buffy going to do now that she wasn't THE slayer anymore but just one of many? Was she going to pull a Professor Xavier and open up a school for future slayers? Call them the B-Men? Or how about how when Andrew told Xander that Anya died? The way he handled it you would have thought that someone told him his old kindergarten teacher Mrs. So-and-So and died and not the woman he once (And still did I think) loved. (His eyes got teary....sorta.)And the biggest question I personally have is how come nobody seems to have noticed that Sunnydale is now a big giant hole in the ground? (Like who? I think everyone pretty much noticed. I wanna see the scene where someone comes by and says "Um, anyone know where Sunnydale went? How's we gonna get over there? *points*")Hellmouth or not you think that someone might have notified the National Guard. And another question pops to mind…..when someone made the comment about the hellmouth being closed once and for all Giles (who can punish me anytime…. mmmmm.)(Normally I would say me too, but I'm in the mood to be punished by hobbits. Elijah, Billy, Dominic, I'm talkin to you guys. Especially you Elijah. Give me an e-mail, we'll make a movie or open a record company or something. *kisses*) made the comment about there being other hellmouths. So why the hell aren't they going to go and close them? INSTEAD Buffy is traveling though Europe looking for….well…who knows what. (Maybe she is in Europe closing a hellmouth in France.....or England. Or maybe she is trying to keep Dawn far away from her own spin-off.)So just think guys, there is a hellmouth opening somewhere and Buffy is more concerned about sipping café lattes in some quaint café somewhere then in closing it. But enough about B:TVS and into something a bit more fun……
THANK YOU, THANK YOU AND THANK YOU!!!! I love you Joss Whedon! Not only did you bring Angel back for another kick ass season you brought back my beloved Spike. I was in near tears(don't let her fool you. She was already balling when they had the final Scooby scene with the core Scoobies. That night was pretty much Buffy, Clay!, Buffy, Ruben!, Buffy, Bridge Over Troubled Waters, Buffy!) when they killed him off in the series finale of B:TVS but when Amethyst told me that they were bringing Spike onto Angel I was thrilled! Confused as to how they were going to do it but totally thrilled! Still doesn't make up for the endless waiting for news about Cordy's metaphysical coma but it makes me happy to have my Spike back and a million times better then ever. Gone is the wussy souled spike and back is my sexy bad ass Blondie bear. The only big complaint I have about Angel this season is the long waiting for them to wrap up Cordy's storyline. How long can someone stay in a meta-psychical coma anyway? (7 days. All you fans of The Ring just snickered at that I'm sure. Fear not Jade. Cordy wakes up tomorrow.)Let her wake up and wrap things up. Give us the closure we need Joss. Don't leave us waiting forever. Angel this season brings up two more questions for me besides the Cordy thing…One is just what were the real reasons behind Wolfram & Hart handing over the LA office to Angel and gang to run, and number two is…Where's the Angelmobile?!? (I told her where the Angelmobile is. She doesn't believe me. I can't believe no one ever went back for that car though. Maybe later in the season will be an episode where Angel goes hunting for the Angelmobile.)Does Angel have so many new cars that he doesn't care anymore what happens to the Angelmobile? If he doesn't want it I'll take it. I could use a new car anyway and to just be able to say that I owned the car that was used in Angel would be totally kick ass. So if anyone from the show Angel is reading this and wondering what to do with the car…my birthday is in July.(Mine's in February. Give it to me and I'll give it to her. Also, I want Connor back. He was eye candy. And does anyone know where Drusilla is?)
2 thumbs up

Jade outside the theater after seeing Freddy vs. Jason, giving it 2 thumbs up. This is right before we discovered someone had keyed my mother's car, stole the left windshield wiper, and spit on the windshield. Cheers!

Cauldron main

Top movie of 2003 in my opinion has to be Jason Vs. Freddy. It was a great movie but made me feel sorry for the youth of today. (The youngins of America are dooooomed. Why when I was their age, I was younger!) When my co-page owner and I went to see the movie we had a blast but we were the only ones laughing at the humor(humor, death.....same difference in most cases.) in it as well as the only ones signing along with the 1,2 Freddy's coming for you song. (Singing and clapping I'm afraid.) I don't know whether it was just the showing we saw or if it was the fact that Jason and Freddy are film stars best left in days gone by since the movies goers of today seem to have evolved beyond the sarcastic humor and good ole' blood & guts that such movies have helped pioneer. I guess today with psychological thrillers being the norm, you know the ones that have people afraid to go to the bathroom during movies for fear of missing a pivotal plot point that will cause them to miss the entire point of the movie,(*coughs* Mothman Prophecies *coughs*) the days of knowing that the first people to get laid in the movie are going to be the first ones to get horribly killed are over. I'm sure going to miss those days. In memoriam of those days I will end part one of my year and review with a few small tidbits of advice:
#1. Keep all of your clothes on. If you are naked at anytime during the movie you will die.
#2. If you survived the first movie you will not survive the second so if they ask you back say NO and run quickly away.(Well, Neve Campbell survived all 3 Scream movies. But she pretty much broke the mold.)
#3 And the most important thing in my mind is the following:
One, Two Freddy's coming for you
Three, Four better lock the door
Five, Six get a crufix
Seven, Eight better stay up late
Nine, Ten never sleep again.
I raise my glass to you Freddy and Jason. You are the true royalty of classic horror. Long may you die and come back…and die and come back yet again.
(I do not think Freddy vs Jason was the flick of the year, but it was a good flick. I'm biased to the hobbits though. And one particularly hot elf.)

Stay tuned for future upcoming rambles about 2003

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