| The Long and Winding Road by Kevin T. Rodriguez | |||||||||
"The Long and Winding Road" is one of my favorite songs. I love those sad lyrics, that wonderful melody, and the message it sends. I can relate this song in many different situations, and those situations are sometimes happy and sometimes sad. The one message from this song that everyone seems to get out of it is that all good things must come to an end, and that we secretly pray for certain days to never come. This is one of those days for me. When I started this site, it was nothing more then a hobby. As early visitors can tell you, my site was garbage. I knew no HTML, I couldn't write, and there were spelling errors everywhere. As time went on, things improved, and now the site is a 100,000 plus hits site. My how long this site has come in the three years I've been running it. We managed to go from being this little site that people visited to mock, to a site that managed to tick off voice actors who worked for 4Kids Entertainment (most notably Eric Stuart). We went from a site who didn't have much going for it, to becoming one of the biggest YGO! commentary sites on the web (most YGO! sites revolve around the TGC card game and what not). It's been a fun three years. Which is why this day is so bittersweet for me. My friends, I hate to be blunt about this, but as of this week I am retiring from my post as Webmaster for Yu-Gi-Oh! Uncensored! I'm not sure if this is shocking news to many of you reading this. In all honesty, I'd be surprised if there isn't at least one person who doesn't have the thought "It's about time" going through their head. Not to copy Chris Psaros, but after lots of thought and prayer I've finally come to the conclusion that I don't really want to do this anymore. My involvement with this site has been diminishing the past year or so, but it wasn't until the last few months where I really had a change of heart about this site. It started in January when I was supposed to go back to school and there were some problems. I signed up for four classes. One class got dropped due to lack of interest. I ended up on a waiting list for two classes, and thus didn't get into either one. The final class started late in the year (January 29th), but there was some mis-communication on the schools part. When I signed up for it my counselor said I had met the requirements to take that class. Apparently the teacher thought different. There was a bit of back and forth arguing with both parties, but when they came to the conclusion that I WAS qualified to take the class, it had been three weeks later! Thus I was way behind, and to attempt to take the class now would be grade suicide. Which meant no school for me that semester. At first I was crushed, but I decided to pray about it and find out what God wanted me to about this. Now I don't know whether anyone knows this or not, but I am a born again Christian. When I was young I got sick. VERY sick! I was diagnosed with a deadly syndrome called Guillain-Barré. This was in 1993. You can read more about the sickness here, but basically what getting Guillain-Barré meant was that I was paralyzed. My body wasn't stiff or anything, I just couldn't move. It was very scary. I was out of the hospital a month later though, so I figured the doctors must have cured me or something. Years later I found out there was no cure of the sickness and the doctors told my parents that there was nothing they could do but make me comfortable. They also said that the nature of this syndrome meant that at a minimum I was going to be sick for about fifteen to twenty YEARS (though I hear that they have found ways to fight it recently, so this isn't as much of a possibility now)! Yet I was out in a month, to the complete bewilderment of the doctors. When I found out that story at the age of fourteen, I prayed. I prayed for hours. I hate the kind of praying where you just sit there and wait for someone who might not even exist to say something back to you, but there I was, praying for a response as to why I got recovered so soon after I got a fluke of a sickness that would have taken most of my life away from me (for the record, only about 1 out of 100,000 people get this syndrome). The answer finally came when I heard a clear, kind voice say "I have bigger plans for you." There is a point to this, so if there are any atheists out there, I'm sorry if this is such a chore to read, but stick with me. Since then I've walked in faith, doing most of what God calls me to do (hey, I'm human, so I can't say I've been perfect or anything). As you may know, I love writing. I want to write for a living one day. About five years ago I created a story in my head. It was a Pokemon-ish story, but I wrote it in my head. And in my head it's been evolving into something different. Two years ago I had the whole story outlined in my head, and I wanted to write it. God told me to start writing it. I didn't. I told him I was too busy with school, that I was working too much, and that I had no time to write. "I can write it another day" I told him. Then I got laid off from my job. I still had school, but school was part time and only added up to three days a week plus homework. It would have been the perfect time to start writing, but I didn't. In March of 2004 I went into depression and dropped out of school to recover. I recovered in a month and a half, and God told me to write it then. I told him no, that I was still recovering. I was actively going against what God told me to do, though I did obey him when he told me to join my churches youth program as an Assistant Youth Pastor (and let me tell you, am I GLAD I obeyed him on that, because most of those kids have become good friends to me now). I told him that if I got a job and some much needed money flowing, I would start. So he got me a job. A good one. Then my excuse was that I was too busy...again, to write it. Well, earlier this year God told me once again to try writing it. I made the same amount of excuses, and the same thing has happened. However God had an answer for my excuses this time. School got cut from my life, and recently my hours at work got cut. I realized what was going on. Once school didn't work out I KNEW what I was being called to do! It wasn't enough to SAY I was going to do this big thing for my life, I had to actually DO it!! I started seriously writing the book in February. Despite a rough start (which included writing a chapter two only to completely trash it and write a new one) things are going along fine. But God has also put it on my heart that to get this done by the fall (so I can start publishing it), I need to cut out some things in my life. So I took some suggestions of his. I brought on another person to help with my The Comic Book Guy.com website (so that I didn't spend the odd ten plus hours on it a week anymore), I only work as many hours to make a decent living off of (instead of the insane 40+ hours I was working before), and hobbies such as trading cards and video games have either been cut from my life completely or severely cut back (which is just as well, since video games are now priced at $60 a pop, about $70.00 after tax). And strangely enough, I don't miss those things as much as I thought I would. In fact, I'm reading more books then ever now that I've cut back on the video games. From "The Green Mile," to "The Da Vinci Code," to "The Visitation." I've always been a book reader, but my writing a book has brought me back to a love for books I had temporarily forgotten. Of course, this brings me to Yu-Gi-Oh! Uncensored, my first real "project," something closer to my heart then most things. Most of my friends don't know about this site, but it's a big part of my life. When I started this site I took my first step on the long and winding road. Let me tell you, it is long, and it is winding. From server problems, to hosting glitches, to conflicts with staff members, I've seen it all. Twist and turn as they say. While I had cleared up my life a bit to work on my book, there was one thing that still needed to be cut loose: Yu-Gi-Oh! Uncensored! As first I resisted this. This site was my baby. I started it when I was a baby trying to make it big on the web, and I watched it make 100,000 hits in a little over two years. I then took my experience to my comic site, which looks like it's about to reach that milestone in another year or so. I've gained experience through this site, friends, and (for better or worse) rivals. No way was I giving THIS up! And then Al Kahn made some comments about anime and kids in America (particularly an offensive comment that kids don't read...my foot they don't), and I told myself that this was reason enough to continue the site. God told me to look deeper inside me. He asked me "Son, do you REALLY want to continue this site?! Does it mean that much to you?" I felt this was a stupid question, but the more I thought of it, the more I realized he had a point. Remember when 4Kids picked up "One Piece," and how mad everyone was about it? Oh don't get me wrong, I was mad, but not as mad as I should have been. Secretly I weighed the pros and cons of not being able to buy the anime DVD's uncut in my head. And you know what? I didn't really care that I wouldn't be able to buy legal uncut "One Piece." Not because it left me free to download the fansubs, because the manga was being released by Viz, which was uncut and much, much cheaper. In fact, while I still love anime, I tend to rent it now because of how much the DVD's cost, and how few times I actually re-watch them. When I do buy DVD's it's normally through a 40% off sale at Right Stuf, which makes most of the DVD's dirt cheap. Deep down, my interest in buying anime DVD's has diminished quite a bit, and I tend to buy the manga more since it's cheaper and easier to store. This doesn't mean I didn't care about the treatment of 4Kids shows, or the fact that they were denying uncut DVD's to the rest of the world (which is the worst offense), but I personally don't care as MUCH as I used to care, and find myself not thinking about the situation all that much anymore! Also, I haven't watched the YGO! dub in over a YEAR! Not only that, but I don't actively find myself seeking out interviews with 4Kids staffers, finding news, or even paying that much attention to most of the stuff 4Kids does these days. I think many people agree with me, but this lack of disinterest makes it so I'm no longer qualified to run this site. To add insult to injury, Alan Tse (the main inspiration for this site) sent me an opinion piece about "Viewtiful Joe" and it's American premier. It was wonderful. Wouldn't you agree? What? You don't know what I'm talking about? Oh yeah, I forgot...I still have it on my hard drive. Waiting to be properly formatted and posted. Problem is, I received that piece in November of 2005...about five months ago. Almost half a year. Which shows how much I REALLY care about the site since Alan Tse pieces are practically pure gold to me, and I couldn't be bothered to post it! I haven't heard from him since, and while I won't claim that he's mad or bitter at me, I wouldn't blame him if he was a tad disappointed. Heck, I'm disappointed in myself because it proves that I actually have little respect for this site and it's visitors. I haven't even really updated with too many meaningful updates in the last half-year or so, and the couple editorials I did post were more speculation then they were fact (excluding the Otaku Alliance editorial, that was all true). There was one final nail in the coffin. I had planned an editorial where I would call Gen Fukanaka and all the FUNimation and 4Kids employees personally, and I would try to find the REAL reason behind the cancellation of the uncut YGO! and Shaman King DVD's. This was to be my big hit, the editorial people would have remembered me on this site for. Yet, I've got more important things to do in my life right now. I made a list of things I had to do for my sites and in my life, and I looked at all the projects I had, and prepared to cross some out with a Sharpie. And so I crossed things out. Certain books I was reading (but not enjoying) got crossed off. A couple features for my comic site that I no longer wanted to work on got crossed off. Then I got to my golden egg of a feature on this site. And I stared at it. I stared at it, wondering how I could consider not writing this piece. But then I thought of the amount of time, work, and energy it would take to make it a reality. Calling the company officials multiple times with different phones, hoping on the internet for a couple hours a days, checking in with my uncle who works on Wall Street...in short, it would take a lot of work for very little in return, and I realized that I didn't care enough to do it anymore. So I crossed it off. With that gone, I realized I had no reason to continue updating Yu-Gi-Oh! Uncensored! I told God that he was right, that it was time to move on. I love this site, but it's become a burden to me now. Now I've gotten to a cross in the long and winding road. On one side, I see Yu-Gi-Oh! Uncensored, The Comic Book Guy.com, and everything I love doing surrounding it. On the other side of the road is everything I love doing and The Comic Book Guy.com, but in much smaller quantities. There is also no Yu-Gi-Oh! Uncensored! on that side. But there is a chance, a chance for me to focus my energies on my dream project, and maybe even get it published when I'm done. Even though I'm not the most talented person on Earth, I love making people feel good. I love entertaining them. I hope I can do that with my book. But Yu-Gi-Oh! Uncensored...that I've pretty much squeezed all the entertainment value I can out of it. It's still a good site, and still very useful since those uncut DVD's are still in limbo somewhere, but it's not a very effective tool for me to use anymore. So I will continue on the long and winding road, with tears in my eyes for the stuff I'm leaving behind, but also with a smile on my face for what the future holds for me. This editorial was not meant to be this deep or filled with references to God. I've never hid the fact that I was a Christian, and followed Jesus Christ above all, but I didn't talk about my beliefs much because I didn't want to come off as shoving my beliefs on you guys. However since Hollywood dumped "Brokeback Mountain" on me, I hope you guys will forgive me that I decided to be a little bit more visual about my beliefs and my life with you this one time. After all, this may be the last time you hear from me, and I from you. Oh sure, maybe the book will get published and I'll become as famous as J.K. Rowling and Christopher Paolini (Ha!) one day, maybe not. Either way, you guys were my first public family. I've gotten e-mails about this site and what I do almost everyday, and it's been that way for three years. I know that once I post this editorial I will continue to get e-mails, but they won't come as often as they normally do, and one day they'll stop coming altogether. I expect this, and I'll be sad when they stop coming, but I'll also smile. It just means life goes on, and nothing stays the same. But you guys are like family, and I regret that I haven't taken the time to respond to most of your e-mails like I should have, so I want to also take this time to thank every person who has sent me an e-mail. Even if you sent me a hate mail thank you, because when I received those hate mails and complaints, I always strived to do better, and I am better now thanks to all of you. Arigato. Before I leave though, there are three very important people I would like to thank. JD - Thanks for merging your site with mine and taking over the episode comparisons. People may have lost interest in this site a long time ago if you didn't come in and save the site with your near daily updates. I think you need to cut back on the politics a little bit, but either way you've been a good friend. Arigato. GreatSaiyaman777 - G, let me just say thank you for saving my site. Thank you for giving me the most advice on my editorials anyone ever did. Thank you for helping me in the spotlight. Thank you for providing me with some of the only real fun I have on AOL Chat. Keep up the good work. Arigato. Alan Tse - Now I come to Alan. Alan, I haven't talked to you as much as I have most of the people here. But you're editorial "Yu-Gi-Oh!...Another Carcaptors?" inspired me to make this site, you've sent me very good e-mails, and the editorials you've sent me are some of the best this site has ever seen. Arigato. As for the rest of you, this is where we part. I won't disappear forever. I'll update my blog with the progress on my book, write the occasional review, and I may even post the first chapter for everyone to preview online when the book is closed to being finished. I won't continue to update on this site about the progress of the book though. That would be exploiting my audience for projects that have nothing to do with this site. The staff of The Otaku Alliance is doing that now, and I don't like it. I think it's wrong. Thankfully, unlike Chris Psaros's departure, my leaving does NOT signal the end of Yu-Gi-Oh! Uncensored! JD will continue to update the site, and when he's ready to step down maybe he'll pass the torch to someone else. I will also hang at the message boards for about one week, to answer any questions you guys may still have about my departure (though I think everything has pretty much been answered here, I could be wrong). So for now, I bid you good night, and good luck. THE END | |||||||||
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