The Arabs have it better” By: Jaya Lakshmi
   

In my newspaper, I read about how the Simpsons in Arabic is Al Shamsoon, Homer Simpson is Omar Shamsoon, Marge Simpson is Mona Shamsoon, and so on. But that is not what I’m complaining about.

 

You see, stuff like Homer drinking beer or his gay neighbor are taken out because the Arabic culture is even more Puritan than American culture. This isn’t just kids; adults are watching it as well. Does this sound familiar?

 

Now, the Simpsons wasn’t a show for kids to begin with. There’s mild language, sexual references, occasional violence, but it’s all done for the sake of satire and humor. I didn’t understand it when I was a kid, but now whenever I can catch it, I laugh. The jokes make so much more sense because I’m older and I know more pop culture. I will never forget Stephen King claiming that Benjamin Franklin “opened the gates of hell!” That line makes me chuckle whenever I think about it. That and flaming ants jumping in oil to save themselves. They get one moment of relief before the oil catches on fire and burns them to the ground. You actually hear them screaming and sighing. That makes it even funnier. 

 

Why do the Arabs have it better? Because the Simpsons is translated correctly! While the Middle East gets a great Arabic version, we are stuck with 4Kids editing crappy dubs of One Piece and Tokyo Mew Mew as well as Funimation and DBZ. Why, oh why, oh why?

 

4Kids, and Funimation, I know that you sometimes visit these sites. I have a clear message for you: those shows aren’t just meant for kids. One Piece has it share of violence, humor, action/adventure, and serious moments. So did DBZ.  It was supposed to be for both kids and adults. But not only do you censor it, but you take out the English, make stupid dialog changes, replace funny jokes with stupid ones, and you replace the background music.

 

This isn’t going to make you popular! (Though you should’ve figured it out already, given these sites.)

 

People have complained that they should keep the subtle humor in the episodes. However, the large set of countries I’m talking about have a strict religion forbidding wine and sex publicly. It makes sense to air it without the subtle humor. (That’s nothing. There was a Japanese television show where a geisha fell in love with a guy whose mother didn’t like the girl’s job. In Iran her job was changed to a hairdresser. If you don’t know what a geisha it, go look it up.)

 

America is not like that! We have freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and also places where people over 21 can buy beer whenever they want to. Not to mention rap videos with curse words and kids approaching puberty when they’re in fifth grade, or even younger. And 4Kids, have you ever heard of Miguzi? There’s a French anime called Code Lyoko where there are baths scenes (though nothing shows) and usage of the word “sexy” that runs on that block. If the French can do it, then so can you.

 

Yup, if it was a contest between Al Shamsoon and Mew Mew Power, Al Shamsoon would win. Why don’t you learn from your rivals once in a while?