Don't Believe The Hype

By Underfaker
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First off, thanks to everyone who wrote me about my article concerning the DBZ Cult. Although I don’t think its my best work, everybody else seemed to like it. I just wish I had made it a little bit longer.

I decided to write this article because a website (PlanetNamek.com) made comments that got Ms. Meri thinking. Now, I know Ms. Meri is a big girl and can handle herself, but that doesn’t mean I can’t write editorials about it. Besides, what kind of boot-licking toady would I be if I didn’t?

The comment said that Season 4 wasn’t good. As many of you know, this is often referred to as the “Trunks Episodes”. So in response, I decided to rip-apart the thing that they hold most dear. The Subtitled DBZ. Hold your hats Cultists, because this will be a doozy.

Note- I’ll only be doing the first episode because its late at night and I’m really tired.

Alright, we begin things by watching the opening sequence, also known as, “Head Cha La”. Now, why is this song so awesome? Trick question. IT ISN’T! This is horseshit at its finest. “Rock the Dragon” was fucking GRAMMY MATERIAL compared to this shit. We get lyrics that I haven’t heard since my friends started tripping on acid. Have you listened to this crap?! “If in the melting ice I find a dinosaur, I'll teach him to ride a ball!” What the fuck is this?! THIS is music? C’mon, I could pick out a Beatles song that would sound so much better than this. This is Exhibit A in the prosecution of how television lowers your IQ.

Now, we go to the title card. “At Last, A Direct Confrontation! Captain Ginyu Takes The Field!”. Wow, thanks for taking two sentences to tell me that Captain Ginyu is about to fight, because obviously I’m a moron and you have to tell me nice and slow.

Now the show begins. Burter and Jeice are getting the shit kicked out of them by Goku. Nothing new to see here, move along. Of course, what episode would be complete without the DBZ SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT~!? Burter feels the need to tell us several times that Goku’s speed will run out eventually and cause him to screw up. Wow, this is fucking amazing.

Goku fucks up Burter some more and ends up knocking him out of the fight. Now here is where the Japanese version is wrong. Jeice starts bitching about how they will all die against this guy, blah blah blah. Any villian worth his salt would say, “This isn’t the end!” or “You’ve won this round!” or “He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day!”. Proof that the subbed sucks. Then Vegeta does the most AWESOME bad guy trick- Kills the people that the good guy saved. Beautiful.

So at exactly what point am I supposed to realize that the subbed is 50 million times better than the dubbed, causing religious conversion, an end to poverty, and multiple orgasms?

So Jeice goes and fetches Captain Ginyu, bringing him to the field. Blah, blah, blah...more talking. It all adds up to saying that Goku can raise his power level, Ginyu is one bad motherfucker and Jeice is a fucking moron. Wow, the hits just keep coming. Vegeta then does another AWESOME bad guy trick- Ditching the good guy! Incredible! The show ends with Ginyu charging Goku, while screaming, “Your guard is down!”

Well.

Ladies and gentlemen, don’t believe the hype. The subbed DBZ will not get you any higher, nor will it make your Marlboro’s taste any better.

So, DBZ Cult, anytime you feel like ripping apart the dubbed, there will always be someone here to rip apart everything you hold dear.

Don’t be afraid to say you are scared. There’s no shame in it.

The Super Texa-Jin,
Jonathan “Underfaker” Lindsey
*******



Before I start, I tried to make my format seem as much like 4KidsEmployee’s so that all of the answers to this guy are in the same format. 4KidsEmployee, if you would like me to make it look different from yours, let me know and I will re-do it.

Anyway, my turn

“First off, thanks to everyone who wrote me about my article concerning the DBZ Cult. Although I don’t think its my best work, everybody else seemed to like it. I just wish I had made it a little bit longer.”

I really hope that wasn’t even anything you consider work because it was very, very bad. It made you appear very stubborn and stupid, but then again so do your other 12 articles… Oh, I also wanted to sincerely thank you, for not making the article longer, that would not have been good at all…

“I decided to write this article because a website (PlanetNamek.com) made comments that got Ms. Meri thinking. Now, I know Ms. Meri is a big girl and can handle herself, but that doesn’t mean I can’t write editorials about it. Besides, what kind of boot-licking toady would I be if I didn’t?”

You seemed to be a “boot-licking toady” before this, but I know you wanted to elevate your status to “ass-licking moron”.

“The comment said that Season 4 wasn’t good. As many of you know, this is often referred to as the “Trunks Episodes”. So in response, I decided to rip-apart the thing that they hold most dear. The Subtitled DBZ. Hold your hats Cultists, because this will be a doozy."

I swear to god this man is an idiot. Calling others cultist because they belive in quality is a stupid as it comes. Also, most people would refer to FUNi season 4 as the Android episodes, but that’s not really important.

“Note- I’ll only be doing the first episode because its late at night and I’m really tired.”

You should’ve done us all a favor and not done it at all.

“Alright, we begin things by watching the opening sequence, also known as, “Head Cha La”. Now, why is this song so awesome? Trick question. IT ISN’T! This is horseshit at its finest. “Rock the Dragon” was fucking GRAMMY MATERIAL compared to this shit. We get lyrics that I haven’t heard since my friends started tripping on acid. Have you listened to this crap?! “If in the melting ice I find a dinosaur, I'll teach him to ride a ball!” What the fuck is this?! THIS is music? C’mon, I could pick out a Beatles song that would sound so much better than this. This is Exhibit A in the prosecution of how television lowers your IQ.”

Cha La Head Cha La is an amazing song. Rock the Dragon is… well I can’t think of any word to describe it. I could beat a trash bag full of kittens with a baseball bad while walking through shit and still sound miles above Rock the Dragon. If that is what you consider great guitar riffs you have a serious problem. Rock the Dragon is a simple, simple song, I’m sure it would have a better chance of lowering your IQ than any Japanese score in all of the series.

“Now, we go to the title card. “At Last, A Direct Confrontation! Captain Ginyu Takes The Field!”. Wow, thanks for taking two sentences to tell me that Captain Ginyu is about to fight, because obviously I’m a moron and you have to tell me nice and slow.”

I thought we were doing season 4 with Trunks episodes, but I guess he forgets things very quickly (or after talking about season 4 you just decided to start with these episodes for your “subtitled review” but if that was your reasoning, that’s even worse). Anyway, seeing as you are obviously a moron and we DO have to tell you nice and slow, I’m sure the title helped you. I really like the original title and feel that "Ginyu Assault” is just plain bad.

“Now the show begins. Burter and Jeice are getting the shit kicked out of them by Goku. Nothing new to see here, move along. Of course, what episode would be complete without the DBZ SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT~!? Burter feels the need to tell us several times that Goku’s speed will run out eventually and cause him to screw up. Wow, this is fucking amazing.”

What the hell are you babbling about?

“Goku fucks up Burter some more and ends up knocking him out of the fight. Now here is where the Japanese version is wrong. Jeice starts bitching about how they will all die against this guy, blah blah blah. Any villian worth his salt would say, “This isn’t the end!” or “You’ve won this round!” or “He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day!”. Proof that the subbed sucks. Then Vegeta does the most AWESOME bad guy trick- Kills the people that the good guy saved. Beautiful.”

“Here is where the Japanese version is wrong”. Need I say anymore? How can it be wrong??? It is the original for Christ’s sake. This statement right here sums up the fact that you are indeed a stupid son of a bitch (nothing else I could think of, this line REALLY upsets me). “Jiece” realizes he can’t win, so he does the smart thing and leaves. Any villain worth his salt would… you are stupid … not all villains are the same, apparently you don’t realize this. Different people do things differently if you didn’t know that. Your quotes are also very stupid. “He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day!” sounds just like something FUNi would say (hell they probably did). The subbed track directly translates the episodes as they were intended to be seen, yet you say they suck. Oh well, I know the subbed version will never be good enough to come up with great lines like “Whatever turns you on” and “KRILLENS IN DA HOUUUSSEE!!!”…

“So at exactly what point am I supposed to realize that the subbed is 50 million times better than the dubbed, causing religious conversion, an end to poverty, and multiple orgasms?”

Again, what the hell are you babbling about???

“So Jeice goes and fetches Captain Ginyu, bringing him to the field. Blah, blah, blah...more talking. It all adds up to saying that Goku can raise his power level, Ginyu is one bad motherfucker and Jeice is a fucking moron. Wow, the hits just keep coming. Vegeta then does another AWESOME bad guy trick- Ditching the good guy! Incredible! The show ends with Ginyu charging Goku, while screaming, “Your guard is down!”

First off, it is apparent you don’t even care what is being said as you always refer to any speech as blah blah blah, and more talking. Also, nothing here has anything to do with subbed/dubbed you are just giving an episode summary.

“Well.

Ladies and gentlemen, don’t believe the hype. The subbed DBZ will not get you any higher, nor will it make your Marlboro’s taste any better.

So, DBZ Cult, anytime you feel like ripping apart the dubbed, there will always be someone here to rip apart everything you hold dear.

Don’t be afraid to say you are scared. There’s no shame in it.

The Super Texa-Jin,
Jonathan “Underfaker” Lindsey”

I’ll do these last paragraphs together. Wait, there is nothing I can put here except state yet again that you are an imbecile. You in no way ripped apart the sub, infact you didn’t really accomplish anything in this article, except making yourself look more arrogant and dumb. BTW, when has anyone of us (as we smoke our cigarettes in our "cult” said anything about the subs making you higher)? You act like everyone who believes in the quality of Dragon Ball wants to murder fans of the Dub and send anthrax to FUNimation, which just isn’t true.

Thanks for reading,
-Xeries

- >Xeries